NFL Championship Weekend Best Bets & more

As we approach Championship Weekend in the NFL, the stakes are higher than ever for all four teams. However, I must clarify that I am on none of these teams' payrolls; my allegiance is solely to the good folks who cover the action. Now, in a very responsible manner, I would like everyone to wire all of their money out of their bank accounts to their favorite sportsbook and responsibly get rich on the following plays.

This year, sharps are getting destroyed by squares on the lines, but the public is still getting feasted on by Vegas due to parlays, props, and other ridiculous bets that we will surely dump money on as well. So, without further ado, let's dive right in.

Philadelphia Eagles (-6) vs Washington Commanders (+225) O/U 47.5

The Commanders and their rookie quarterback enter this week's game in Philly as the hottest team in town. Unfortunately, they are set to be curb-stomped by Saquon Barkley and company. The season series is currently split, with the under hitting in Game 1 as the Eagles covered as favorites. In Game 2, the over hit, and the underdog Commanders won outright.

While Jalen Hurts' injury in the first quarter of Game 2 played a significant role in that outcome, it is worth noting that the Commanders' win was part of their current seven-game win streak. They have been firing on offense for weeks now. However, reality must settle in, and all good things must come to an end. Give me the Eagles -6, the under at 47.5, and a 0.5-unit bet on Kenneth Gainwell as an anytime touchdown scorer at +850 for a little extra juice. The Cinderella story is over; it is time for the Commanders to face the music. Do not let your desires cloud your judgment—be real.

PICKS:

  • Eagles -6 (-110) 2u

  • Under 47.5 (-110) 1u

  • Kenneth Gainwell ATTD +850 0.5u

Kansas City Chiefs (-1.5) vs Buffalo Bills (+105) O/U 48.5

The Chiefs are the most fraudulent team of all time, yet due to officiating and the NFL's infatuation with Patrick Mahomes, they have found themselves up against their fiercest rival—the only team to beat them this season.

Everything about this matchup is painful, but facing reality is necessary. The team that has been bailed out time and time again, that struggles to score more than 30 points per game, and that must face the only team capable of beating them will likely prevail once more. The Chiefs are herpes—they do not go away. Every team plays down to them, and if you were good enough to beat them once, you will surely find a way to fuck it up the next time around.

Prince Patrick will likely have his hand held by Andy Reid throughout the game, receiving freebies from the referees while we stand by and endure it. This will set up a Super Bowl filled with strategic one-yard sneaks on third-and-short and a battle of smart clock management moves between the Midadelphia and The Kansas City Queefs.

For this game, the sensible choices are the under at 48.5, Chiefs moneyline at -125, and Patrick Mahomes under 253.5 passing yards. For my own entertainment, I will also sprinkle a little on Ray Davis as the first touchdown scorer at +2500.

PICKS:

  • Under 48.5 2u

  • Chiefs -125 2u

  • Patrick Mahomes Under 253.5 Passing Yards (-110) 1u

  • Ray Davis First TD +2500 0.25u

Good luck, and remember—bet responsibly!

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